The Fish In My Bathroom

The Fish In My Bathroom (or: Morning Hope)

Well, I was quite certain
I had spent this night alone
But - early in the morning,
When a pressing need
Led me to my bathroom,
It was occupied ...

Oh, no, it was not locked up.
I entered - and then I saw him:
The fish in my bathroom.

You should always lower the toilet-lid.

He was standing there,
Looking at himself in the mirror
With his bulging eyes and
Scratching his gills.

The Fish In My Bathroom

"Nice to see you, Mister Fish."
But he doesn't answer.
He even doesn't turn his head.
What shall I do? It's him,
The guest, not me!
It's seven o'clock in the morning
And I'm already polite
But he misbehaves
Like a socialite.

Fishes need water!

I enliven him with the jet
Of the shower tap.
He leans to my side
And his rolling right eye
Eyes me.
Do I see a smile on his cold lips?

The Fish In My Bathroom

The fish in my bathroom
Opens his mouth.
Does he want to say "Hi"?
He seems to be too shy.
The fish in my bathroom
doesn't tell me why.

I was born under the sign of Aquarius -
Maybe this fish is a gift of Poseidon
To free me of my worries!

Old fish, I need a windplayer for my brassband,
Can you help me - he stays mute.
Fish of my hope, do you want to pay my bills?
Oh, he becomes green about the gills!
He's just in the bathroom
And he's mute -
To my well-being
He doesn't want
to contribute.

The fish in my bathroom
Opens his mouth
And stays mute
His silence remains absolute.
I understand: he's not blasé, but full of bubbles,
I'll be left with all my troubles.

He can't play the trumpet
He can't play the flute
He can't pay bills
Can't shave his gills -

He even doesn't sound fishy to me
He's really boring
You better ignore him.

(Text: J.O. Simon / Alain François, Musik: J.O. Simon)



J.O. Simon (vocals, guitars and keyboards)
Jörn Bösel (bass and trumpet)
Ulli Stein (drum programming and sampling)



Yes! We want the fish to pay OUR bills..

Hmmm... Nige'n'Trev are normally very suspicious of anything Fish-like due to a traumatic childhood experience with an angry Anableps but this slick JO Simon composition soon washed away our fears. We were immediately lulled into a pleasant but false sense of security thinking it was going to be just a standard blues song but we'd forgotten about Mr. Simon's unique imaginative musical creativity and we were soon marvelling open mouthed and dribbling at the unexpected twists, turns and changes in this classy composition. Humourous and excellently written lyrics with a wonderful effortless quality to the vocal phrasing. (Those JO harmonies are just so SMOOOOTH!) An inspired arrangement & production that is anything but predictable (We LOVE the panned marimba at 1:51!)and it goes without saying that the bursts of juicy guitar playing are of the highest quality. The fish may be 'really boring' but the song is SUPERB!

Paul Nery:

I hope it´s not the singer from Marillion...neither a "candiru". Candiru is a Brazilian fish (from the Amazon river)...oh well...they like to...forget it... the quality of the recording is amazing! Superb mixing work as usual. The arrangement is fantastic, as well as the vocals... So many things to listen , small piano , guitar and brass parts... The guitar is particularly great!

Congrat J.O.!

Tetsuroh Konishi:

It's very nice title "The fish of my bathroom" And This song is very unique !! I always think, Your chorus work is very beautifull indeed!!!

By the way, Is middle of song trumpet sound real? or sampling?

J.O.: The trumpet is real, played by Jörn Bösel


Oh, yeah, those smooth, tight harmonies! Puts me in a liquid state, if I am allowed to say so.

Great to hear your imagination played out in each of your pieces. This, of course, is no exception.

The trumpet is a nice touch, too!

I can never wait to see and hear what you come up with next. More exciting than receiving the new issue of Bass Player!


Anthony Marcus:

It was truly a pleasure working with this man on the "Enlightenment" track on my page.

I always knew he was a "Zappa Head", but this one takes the cake.

Once again, J.O. Simon delivers nothing less than the very best.

Von der CD "Little Lies For Everyone"

© 2006 U. Simon